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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Grammar Police

Ann: Does it make me a total language snob if I cringe when I hear people abuse the English language?

Pam: You’re only a snob if you correct them.

Ann: Oh, I learned a long time ago not to do that! I corrected a guy on a date and it was our last.

Pam: What did he say?

Ann: He kept saying “irregardless” until I just couldn’t take it another minute and I told him, “Irregardless is not a word.”

Pam: I suspect that solved the problem. He probably didn’t say another word all night.

Ann:Irregardless”, it was the end of the relationship.

Pam: My pet peeve is adding “at” to the end of a perfectly complete question, such as, “Where are you AT?” and “What time is it AT?”

Ann: You hear that everywhere. I constantly had to deprogram my children from that bad habit. What about “Nuclear and nucular”.

Pam: If World War III breaks out, they should make that the password to get into the bomb shelters! Only those who pronounce it correctly are admitted. It would eliminate that particular annoyance.

Ann: Wow, harsh! Who’s being the snob now?

Pam: At least I have the good sense not to chase off a date, even if he did say, “That’s not what I meant to infer.”

Ann: I’ll imply from that remark that you're as big a language snob as I am!

Pam: Enough of this. Are we going for coffee or not?

Ann: Sure. Where should we meet AT?

(Private message to Sister Pauline at Saint Agnes Academy: Look what you’ve done to us!)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kick him to the curve.

Shootist said...

So which is it ladies? I want you to go somewhere with me. Do I say, "please come with"? Or is it correct to say, "please come with me"?

These dam yankees here in Virginia seem to always say, "come with" rather than the latter.

Pam and Ann said...

Sir, is that an invitation? If so, we genteel ladies prefer, "Would you be so kind as to accompany me...?" It would be even better if it was followed by "to Paris for a day of shopping? My treat!"

Shootist said...

You can go to Paris with me anytime.

If Pam can spare you.

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