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Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts

Monday, June 25, 2007

English As A Second Language

Ann: Isn’t it funny how some verbs just go with certain phrases? Like why do we say he ‘sports’ a mustache?

Pam: I’m not sure. I always thought the phrase ‘ekes out’ a living was sort of weird. Do we eke out anything else?

Ann: I don’t know. Good question. Then there are those phrases that are so obvious we don’t even have to finish them…Like ‘she’s expecting’ or ‘they’re engaged’. We don’t even bother with the ‘a baby’ or ‘to be married’ anymore.

Pam: Well you’re the master of strange uses of verbs. Remember that time you were deep into your software training? You were eating, sleeping, and breathing computer technology day and night. When I called and asked you what you were doing you said you were ‘installing’ your hair color. I about fell out of my chair laughing.

Ann: You’ve been known to twist a verb yourself. When you were talking about that friend of yours who was taking flying lessons you weren’t very impressed with his skills. You said that every Sunday he would “commit” aviation.

Pam: Oh yeah. I remember saying that. You know the joke about a doctor who is ‘practicing’ medicine. They say, “I don’t want someone who is still practicing. I want someone who has mastered the art”.

Ann: I always wondered why we use different verbs when it seems like the same one would be used. Like with sports we say we ‘play’ baseball, we ‘do’ gymnastics, and we ‘go’ windsurfing. They’re all sports. Why don’t we use the same verb to describe participating in them?

Pam: Okay, let’s mix it up. From now on I’ll ‘play’ jogging, ‘go’ tennis, and ‘do’ hockey.

Ann: You’ll sound like an English as a Second Language drop out!

Pam: Actually I feel really sorry for those ESL students. I’m glad English is my first language because I don’t think I could have learned it any other way.

Ann: When I was in college, a good friend of mine spent a year in Spain. I was so envious. Not only did she come back speaking fluent Spanish, she brought a handsome Spaniard back with her. He was struggling with his ESL class and asked for my help. He couldn’t grasp the difference between ‘lie’ and ‘lay’. The question was “The cat was ‘lying/laying’ beneath the tree.”
Link to Talking Cat Generator
Pam: I hear native speakers misuse that one.

Ann: Yeah, but the funny part was when I told him the right answer was ‘lying’, he shook his head and said, “But, cats can’t talk!”

Then there are the prepositions. When we travel we can be "on an airplane", "in an airplane", or simply go "by airplane". I think if I was trying to learn it I’d go nuts.

Pam: I think the toughest part of learning English would be all our idioms. When I was in high school we had an exchange student on our softball team. She heard someone say our pitcher had “lost her touch” and she thought she had a neurological disease which made her go numb.

Ann: Yeah, when I was taking Japanese our instructor told us about an embarrassing moment she had. She had learned English in school in Japan as all students do and then came here for college. She was chosen to represent her dorm in a beauty contest. When it came time for the evening gown competition, she realized she made a mistake in translation. All she brought to wear was a night gown!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Grammar Police

Ann: Does it make me a total language snob if I cringe when I hear people abuse the English language?

Pam: You’re only a snob if you correct them.

Ann: Oh, I learned a long time ago not to do that! I corrected a guy on a date and it was our last.

Pam: What did he say?

Ann: He kept saying “irregardless” until I just couldn’t take it another minute and I told him, “Irregardless is not a word.”

Pam: I suspect that solved the problem. He probably didn’t say another word all night.

Ann:Irregardless”, it was the end of the relationship.

Pam: My pet peeve is adding “at” to the end of a perfectly complete question, such as, “Where are you AT?” and “What time is it AT?”

Ann: You hear that everywhere. I constantly had to deprogram my children from that bad habit. What about “Nuclear and nucular”.

Pam: If World War III breaks out, they should make that the password to get into the bomb shelters! Only those who pronounce it correctly are admitted. It would eliminate that particular annoyance.

Ann: Wow, harsh! Who’s being the snob now?

Pam: At least I have the good sense not to chase off a date, even if he did say, “That’s not what I meant to infer.”

Ann: I’ll imply from that remark that you're as big a language snob as I am!

Pam: Enough of this. Are we going for coffee or not?

Ann: Sure. Where should we meet AT?

(Private message to Sister Pauline at Saint Agnes Academy: Look what you’ve done to us!)

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