Mom, Is That You?

Pam: Oh my God! It just happened. I had that moment.

Ann: Which one?

Pam: The one that inevitably happens to every woman. I have rollers in my hair and was working at the computer so I had on my new glasses.

Ann: I’ve never even seen you in those.

Pam: You haven’t? Well, I was in the bathroom washing my hands and I looked up and was startled to see my mother staring back at me. I’m stunned….literally.

Ann: You’ll get over it. That happened to me a long time ago. It may be your first time but it won’t be your last.

Pam: All my life I’ve heard women joke about seeing their mothers in the mirror but I had no idea what a profound experience it is. I’m not kidding, it scared me.

Ann: Just wait until you hear her voice come out of your mouth. Then you’ll really be spooked.

Pam: Oh that’s happened already.

Ann: I swore I would never say a lot of the things my mother used to say to us.

Pam: I did too. My mom used to annoy the heck out of me. I’d be having a typical adolescent meltdown pleading my case in an immature way. She’d respond by calmly saying, “I will not reinforce that type of behavior.” That just made me angrier.


Ann: I’ve heard you say that before.

Pam: I know. The first time I heard those words come out of my mouth, I literally looked around to see if my mom was there. But I knew she was four states away.

Ann: She’s quite the ventriloquist!

When I first channeled my mother, I looked at my kids and asked, “Did I just sound like Grandma?” When they nodded, in a panic I unmade my bed and un-alphabetized my spices.

Pam: Aren’t you a little old to be rebelling? Besides, that’s a pretty pathetic attempt.

Ann: I’m getting a tattoo tomorrow.

Pam: Our only consolation in this is that someday Hannah and Kate will look into a mirror and see us staring back at them.

Ann: Beware, objects in the mirror are closer than they seem.