Procrastinators Unite! (Later)

Ann: I just talked to Troy. Somehow he’s had another strong semester despite the total absence of an effective use of his time.

Pam: He just works so well under pressure he puts everything off until the last second because he’ll do better. You’ve got to admit, it works for him.

Ann: Sometimes I get the impression he thinks any deadline at all is an unreasonable one.

Pam: Yeah, Ross is the same way. He figures God didn’t create the world in seven days. He just pulled an all-nighter on the sixth! But they’re young. They just haven’t been bitten yet.

Ann: I know. I’d just hate for him to learn his lesson on something that really counts. He never factors in time for the unexpected. I’d hate for him to be late to an interview because of a flat tire or miss a great trip because he didn’t send his passport renewal in on time. Know what I mean?

Pam: I do. But they’re grown now. We can’t save them from themselves. And even if we could, we shouldn’t.

Ann: I can’t really blame Troy too much. When I was his age I was a major procrastinator too. I actually remember thinking anything worth doing would have been done already, so why bother?

Pam: I was that way too. Once, when I was their age, I screwed up a big assignment by waiting too late to get started. When the professor handed back my paper she calmly said, “Perhaps your purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others”. That got my attention.

Ann: Well Troy learned from the master. At his age my motto was the sooner I fall behind, the more time I’ll have to catch up. It’s hard to believe that actually made sense to me somehow!

Pam: Hey, I still tend to put things off sometimes. I rationalize that if I wait long enough, eventually some new technology or an amazing discovery will eventually relieve me of any obligation. Like laundry…where are those disposable clothes we’re supposed to be wearing by now?

Ann: Well at least we’re not beating our laundry on rocks in the river anymore.

Pam: Yeah, I’m sure all those dead pioneer women really appreciate the washing machines we have now.

Ann: They would if they hadn’t drowned in the river washing clothes.

Pam: If they’d known how to properly procrastinate they would have never met such a fate.

Ann: I once was on-line at a site where you could nominate yourself for a contest to be named the “World’s Best Procrastinator”. The first prize was a fabulous vacation to “relax from the hard work of putting things off”. The rules said you could only nominate yourself; no one else could do it for you.

Pam: Don’t tell me. You put off registering and missed the deadline.

Ann: No, I actually took the time to fill out the very detailed entry form, even writing a 250 word essay on “what procrastination has cost me”.

Pam: If you didn’t win I guess your entry wasn’t the most compelling one.

Ann: No, that wasn’t it. As soon as I finished filling out the entire form and polishing up my essay entry I hit send. Instantly a message popped up that said, "You’re immediately disqualified as a contestant in the 'World’s Best Procrastinator' contest due to the fact that you actually completed and submitted the required entry form!"