Creative Incompetence

Pam: I’ve decided people sometimes do things badly just to force someone else to take over.

Ann: You just figured that out?

Pam: It’s like Tom Sawyer painting the fence only in reverse. Instead of saying “This is so fun. Too bad you don’t have a fence to paint. Aren’t I lucky!” they say, “I’m terrible at painting. You’re such a better painter than I am. I guess I should leave all the painting up to you.”

Ann: Yep. Years ago I heard it called “creative incompetence”. My ex was the master of it. In fact, I think he invented it. He could take any job he agreed to do and screw it up so badly I’d be sure never to ask again.

Pam: I don’t think it’s always intentional.

Ann: Yeah, well you’re not as cynical as I am. Who’s the creative one this time?

Pam: I sent Bret to take Kate for an MRI. It was just a follow-up scan for the open-heart surgery she had long ago as a toddler. She has no symptoms, is absolutely fine, and this was purely routine, so I figured it was okay to send her with her own father.

Ann: Let me guess, he forgot to take her?

Pam: Worse. He arrived at the clinic, filled out the paperwork, and went with her to the back where he sat just outside the room with the MRI machine. They had Kate undress and put on a gown and they put her in the machine and started to do the scan.

Ann: Sounds good so far.

Pam: But the machine was acting strange. They seemed to be having some sort of interference. So they go in the room and ask Kate if she forgot to take off a bra or a necklace because any metal can mess up the magnetism of the scan. She honestly tells them no. Then they go out to the area where Bret is waiting and ask if Kate has any metal in her body. They explain if she does, they can account for it and adjust the machine but they have to know it’s there. He assures them she doesn’t have any metal in her body.

Ann: So far so good. How’d he screw up?

Pam: Just wait. So they continue to try to do the scan and they still get all these weird results. Finally they decide that the machine is broken and cancel Kate’s scan as well as the rest of the scans for the day on that machine.

Ann: So how’s that Bret’s fault?

Pam: Kate does have metal in her body and Bret knows it! When they did her heart surgery they put her sternum back together with these big wire twist ties. He’s seen them on the chest x-rays plenty of times.

Ann: So why didn’t Kate tell them? She must know she has metal in her chest.

Pam: They never asked her about metal in her body. They only asked her if she was wearing a bra or necklace. There’s a question about metal in her body on the paperwork Bret filled out when they got there, but he checked “none”. And then when they asked him again in person he was outside the MRI room and Kate was still in the machine. They figured a father would know if there was metal in his daughter’s body.

Ann: You’d think.

Pam: So he comes home and tells me how they kept asking him if she had metal in her body and that they finally decided the machine was broken. I just stared at him in disbelief and asked “What about all those wires they used to put her sternum back together?” His casual response was, “Oh yeah. I forgot.”

Ann: And the clinic cancelled all those appointments for nothing!

Pam: I called right away to tell them their MRI machine wasn’t malfunctioning. My husband was!

Ann: So I guess you’re going to take her back yourself?

Pam: No way. I’m not going to let him off that easy. I’m making him go back and face the music.

Ann: I’m sure they’ll give him quite a warm reception!

Pam: I can only hope.