Living In Superman's World

Ann: Why is it that in the movies a man doesn’t show any pain while he’s being shot, run over, stabbed, or generally beat to death. But the second a pretty woman shows up with some antiseptic and bandages, he’s wincing like a baby?

Pam: That’s because it takes place in that parallel universe known as Hollywood. You know…the fictitious world of “happily ever after”.

Ann: Oh yeah! That place. That’s where you can see the Empire State Building from every window in New York City…

Pam: …and where on the battlefield the most dangerous thing you can do is show your buddy a picture of your girlfriend back home.

Ann: How’s that dangerous?

Pam: Because it means you’re sure to die in the next five minutes. Did I ever tell you what my brother said as we left the theater after seeing that original Superman movie with Christopher Reeves? I asked him if he liked it.

Ann: That was a great movie! I loved it when Superman stopped that missile from destroying the city and when he laid down and served as the bridge for a train to prevent it crashing into a ravine.
Pam: My favorite part was the end. It was so romantic when Superman was devastated that Lois Lane died. So he flies backwards around the earth really fast and makes it turn the other way around so that time goes backwards giving him a chance to save her.

Ann: So what did your brother say? Did he like it?

Pam: He said it was really good except for the ending. So I asked him what it was about the ending he didn’t like and he said, get this…“It was unrealistic.”

Ann: So he bought the premise of a man of steel with x-ray vision flying around rescuing people but he had a credibility problem with the ending?

Pam: Yeah. He’s nuts.

Ann: I want to live in the movies because then I’d wake up with perfect make up everyday.

Pam: Yeah but it also means your car would instantly burst into flames as soon as it came into contact with anything at all.

Ann: If I did live in a movie it would probably be made up entirely of those out-takes that they sometimes play during the closing credits.

Pam: Beats my “movie life”. I think mine ended up on the cutting room floor!