Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

Pam: I just found out I’m headed with my boss, Archie, to New Orleans for a business meeting. He’s less than thrilled.

Ann: I thought he enjoyed traveling with you.

Pam: Generally he does, but remember, our last experience in New Orleans was a bit bizarre for him.

Ann: I don’t think I’ve heard this story.

Pam: No? Well, we got to town several hours before our meeting and checked into our rooms at a swanky downtown hotel. We’d picked it to impress our customers since this was our first meeting with them. We agreed to get out of our travel clothes, dress for the meeting, and meet in the lobby in plenty of time to get to the restaurant to beat our clients there.

Ann: So you were doing a whole dog and pony show, huh?

Pam: We were trying to sell them on a four million dollar project. So that’d be a yes.

So I met Archie in the lobby dressed to the nines for this fancy dinner out in the French Quarter. He was pleased I was early and the valet brought the car around very quickly. By the time we were headed toward the restaurant just a few blocks away, we realized we had about an hour to kill.

Well you know I love old graveyards and we passed the historic St. Louis Cemetery Number One right in the middle of downtown.

Ann: Ah, what better way to kill time than in a graveyard? Aren’t all the graves above ground in mausoleums there?

Pam: Right. It filled about a quarter of a city block and was surrounded by a tall stone wall with a big black wrought iron gate. The statuary looked amazing and I loved the contrast of the old marble crypts against the modern glass high rises. So I convinced Archie to stop and let me take a few photos.

Ann: You and that camera! Was it spooky dark yet?

Pam: Oh no. This was still pretty early in the evening and it was summer so we had hours of daylight left.

So we strolled into the walled cemetery and began to walk around oo-ing and ah-ing at the dates and carvings on the huge mausoleums. Several of them were being restored and there were piles of bricks in big fifty-gallon barrels. I took at least four dozen photos of the old gravesites with the huge glass buildings in the background.

Ann: Sounds pretty cool. Did you lose track of time?

Pam: Actually I was really watching the time because I knew Archie wouldn’t want to cut it close. So after about twenty minutes we headed back for the car. But when we got back to the main gate where we’d entered, it was closed and had a big padlock around it.

Ann: You were locked in!?

Pam: Yep. We walked quickly around the entire inside perimeter wall of the small cemetery looking for another gate and yelling for the caretaker the whole way thinking he might still be nearby. But there was no other break in the high wall.

Ann: Wow. You’d think they’d check that it was empty before they locked it up for the night!

Pam: Maybe he called out and we didn’t hear him. I’m not sure what happened.

So we go back to the gate and try to figure out how to get out. People walking by realized we were locked in and a crowd started to gather. There were a lot of suggestions about who we should call or if we could squeeze between the bars—impossible. A lady with a thick Brooklyn accent told us, “Don’t worry honey, we’ll bring you salami sandwiches and cigarettes! You’ll survive until morning.”

Ann: How funny! And embarrassing…

Pam: I thought it was funny and I told the lady not to forget the scotch. I kept joking around with her but Archie was just plain mad. The longer we stood there with the crowd growing, the angrier he became. And worst of all, we were worried about missing our big meeting with the clients.

Ann: At least you’d have a good story to tell if you finally made it to the restaurant.

Pam: Eventually we used all our might to roll one of the big construction barrels over to the gate. I handed my camera through the bars to the lady from Brooklyn so it wouldn’t get damaged and Archie was not amused when I encouraged her to take pictures. She had a blast documenting our escape as we climbed on top of the wall and had some of the more burley by-standers help us jump down on the other side.

Ann: And you, dressed in a skirt and heels!

Pam: Yep. What did I care? I was never going to see these people again. But Archie was embarrassed and kept saying he was going to hurt his knees when he jumped. But the guys on the outside caught him and lowered him gently, so he was fine.

Ann: So did you make it to your meeting on time?

Pam: We were cutting it close, so Archie decided to give the clients a call while I got my camera back from our new friend, the photographer. She and I were admiring her capture of our great escape when her cell phone rang and she said, “Oh my gosh! This is the guy I am supposed to meet for dinner.”

Ann: No way!

Pam: Yep. When Archie said into his phone, “You’ll never believe what happened to us!” my new friend closed her cell phone, walked over to Archie, shook his hand, and said, “Oh yes I would!”