Geek Speak

Pam: Remember back when calling someone a geek was actually an insult? Well you’re one heck of a geek, and I mean that in today’s kindest sense.

Ann: Gee, thanks. Did you know that the original meaning of geek was the side show freak at a carnival who bit the heads off of live chickens?

Pam: Only you would have that little tidbit of information. So are you willing to help me out without biting my head off? I’ve finally decided I’d better learn a thing or two about how to conduct myself in cyberspace.

Ann: Need to learn a little netiquette, Miss Manners?

Pam: Netiquette?

Ann: It’s short for Internet or network etiquette. It’s sort of the rules of the road for people navigating in cyberspace. It’s a whole new code of conduct.

Pam: I get into chat rooms and forums and stumble around. By the reaction I’m getting I can tell I’ve stepped on some toes out there. I don’t mean to. I swear I feel like I’ve entered a whole different world.

Ann: You have. You just need to know some of the basics.

Pam: For instance?

Ann: Some of the obvious ones are don’t shout, don’t start any flame wars, basically don’t be a troll.

Pam: Okay…you lost me at don’t shout. How could I shout on the Internet?

Ann: TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS CONSIDERED SHOUTING.

Pam: Oh, I see. Okay, got it. What was that you said about not burning things down?

Ann: (Laughing) I said don’t post a flame or start any flame wars. Flaming’s when someone posts a message that’s intentionally mean or insulting. If someone gets their feelings hurt and sends an equally angry response, a flame war’s begun. It’s a chat room cat fight.

Pam: That seems obvious. I know I haven’t been hostile to anyone so I haven’t done any flaming. What was that other thing you mentioned?

Ann: Don’t be a troll. A troll’s a jerk who just posts outrageous messages to bait people into arguments. Kind of like a spoiled child. He doesn’t mind negative attention; he just wants attention of any kind. Most folks just ignore them. But there are a lot of them out there.

Pam: Well, I’ve met a few of those in the real world too. I’m telling you, there’s a whole other language. I read the rules on one site and it strictly prohibited spoilers and spammers. I’d be happy to follow the rules if I had a clue what that meant!

Ann: A spoiler’s someone who leads a discussion off topic. Basically, they ‘hijack’ a post.


Pam: So I’m not a spoiler. Am I a spammer?

Ann: I don’t know, what’d you have for lunch?

Just kidding. At first it just meant sending electronic junk mail to big lists of people you don’t even know. Now the meaning’s expanded to include posting promotional stuff on discussion boards or in forums. Basically it’s the cyberspace equivalent of going to a party and then cornering people for an Amway presentation…bad form.

Pam: Okay…that makes sense. Again it’s just common manners. Now one site suggested ‘lurking’ for a while before posting. But lurking sounds like a bad thing, like eavesdropping.

Ann: At one time it was sort of looked at that way. But now lurking’s perfectly acceptable. In fact, it’s encouraged for ‘newbies’.

Pam: Okay, newbie I can figure out but I’m guessing at lurking. Does that mean to read the discussions or message boards but not actually post a comment?

Ann: Yep. Lurking’s good at first. It’s like walking up to a group of people talking at a party. You wouldn’t just chime in without listening for a while. You’d wait to get a feel for what’s being discussed and what the tone of the conversation is.

Pam: So lurkers are usually newbies?

Ann: Not always. Sometimes lurkers are actually experts on a topic who are sort of monitoring the discussion. They only add something when they feel they can be especially helpful.

Pam: Okay finally, what the heck does IMHO mean?

Ann: ‘In my humble opinion’. It’s a way of offering your point of view without being pushy.

Pam: It’s definitely like learning a new language. Now I understand what that guy online meant when he said learning this stuff is like drinking from a fire hose. Can we pick this up again when I’ve had a chance to wring out my clothes?

Ann: Sure. In the immortal words of Tigger, who was more progressive than anyone realized, TTFN – ta ta for now.