Friends In High Places

Pam: Henry and his ‘chick du jour’ came over last night. I’ve got to hand it to him…he’s consistent.

Ann: He certainly has a type. When he asks a woman the capitol of Texas and she answers “T”, he knows he found his next temporary keeper. So this one qualifies, huh?

Pam: Let me put it this way…I doubt she’s ever uttered the word ‘checkmate’.

Ann: What'd y’all do?

Pam: They came by to play some cards. We were sitting in the family room and she says, “Oh, I see you know the pope!”

Ann: What on earth gave her that idea?

Pam: Speaking slowly and using very simple words, that’s what I asked her. She said, “Well he’s standing there with your kids in that picture.”

Ann: You don’t have a photo of Ross and Kate with the pope.

Pam: Yeah, she was talking about their confirmation picture. I explained that wasn’t the pope but the bishop. And she said, “But he’s got the pointy hat on!”

Ann: She thought only the pope wears a mitre?

Pam: I don’t think she ‘thinks’ at all. But she’s got everything Henry looks for in a woman. She was telling us that when she was on the swim team in high school she would have won the breast stroke championship but the other girls kept cheating by using their arms.

Ann: She did not! You’re awful! I swear, someday that man is going to have a coronary dating all these young things. He’s not a kid anymore.

Pam: Then he’s in trouble because he’ll die while this chick-a-dee tries to dial 911. She’ll never find the eleven!

Ann: Certainly she’s heard it called 9-1-1 and can pick out those numbers.


Pam: Don’t be so sure. Last night we were trying to teach her to play Blackjack. She got really mad because she couldn’t figure out if an ace was a one or an eleven. The idea that it could be either was too much for her pretty little head.

Ann: She can’t be as bad as that last one. I’ll never forget that girl at the Christmas party! She said she’d love to learn to water ski but that none of our lakes in Texas have slopes. I about choked on my appetizer.

Pam: Bret cracked a good one when Henry and his date left. He said if that girl ever cooked a turkey she’d bake it for five days. I said, “Okay, I’ll bite. Why?” And he said, “Because the instructions say cook one hour per pound and she weighs 125 pounds.”

Ann: You never know. She might be a terrific cook.

Pam: Yeah, especially since she’s buddies with Chef BoyArDee. I saw his picture in her pantry.



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