You Can't Fix Stupid

Ann: I’ve had it with stupid people! My internet was out all morning and I called the customer service line. It said, “If your high speed internet is down, press one.” So I did and the recording I got said that the wait time was currently 48 minutes and that for faster service I should visit their web page.

Pam: That’s like that special address the government has where people can write if they want help with their illiteracy.

Ann: I don’t know what it is…some say the planet is getting warmer; I say it’s getting dumber. When I took the kids to Carlsbad Caverns, Troy actually heard a guy ask the Park Ranger, “How much of the cave is underground?”

Pam: Wow. What is it about tourists? When Bret and I were in Mexico visiting Tulum we were with a group from the cruise ship checking out the Mayan ruins. One of the people asked the tour guide, “Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?”

Ann: How on earth did the tour guide respond to such a stupid question?

Pam: Actually he was pretty quick on his feet. He said, “You’re incredibly fortunate. As a matter of fact, this very site was a previously undiscovered ruin!”

Ann: I assume from the level of intellect demonstrated in his question that the tourist bought it.

Pam: He was very impressed. It’s sort of scary.


Ann: You’re telling me! But you’re right, it is something about tourists. I was in San Antonio and was standing in front of the Alamo with my camera, waiting for people to step out of my shot. I swear I heard a guy in all seriousness say, “Why the heck did they build the Alamo right in the middle of downtown?

Pam: You’ve got to be kidding me!

Ann: Wait it gets better. The woman he was with said, “Yeah, they should have planned better. There’s no parking here!”

Pam: Yeah, what was Davy Crocket thinking?! My all time favorite is when I was interviewing a young man for a job. He showed up at my office a little late and apologized saying that there was construction along the way on a certain road.

Ann: Was it just a lame excuse?

Pam: Not at all. I was familiar with the area he was talking about and I mentioned to him that they were working on building a tunnel under the runway of the small corporate airport just to the east of us. With a very straight face he actually said, “Why didn’t they just build a bridge?”

Ann: He had to be kidding!

Pam: He wasn’t. I kept waiting for the smile to indicate it was an attempt at humor but it never came. When I pointed out the drawbacks of having a bridge over a runway, at least he had the good sense to be embarrassed.

Ann: Sounds like executive material.