Failure To Launch

Ann: My neighbor’s son, Jed is making me nuts. Ever since he moved back home to live with his parents he keeps waking me up with his loud music and revving that obnoxious car engine at night.

Pam: Sounds like they have a failure to launch situation. Did you speak to him?

Ann: No. But I saw Barb the other day and I chatted with her. She was mowing the yard using an old fashioned rotor blade push mower because she didn’t want to wake Jed with the power mower! I dropped all kinds of hints like asking how she and Ed are adjusting to having an adult son live at home and isn’t it disruptive to their routine and stuff like that.

Pam: Did she catch what you were getting at?

Ann: I think so because she started telling me about how hard it is for Jed to find a job since he had such trouble in school with dyslexia and stuff.

Pam: Does he have a learning disability?


Ann: I suspect it’s more like an ‘earning disability’. Come on, anyone as young, strong, and healthy as Jed could find work if he wanted to. I’ve watched him grow up and the sad fact is he’s just lazy.

Pam: I guess we all know people like that. They party all night and have the motto, ‘Don’t hate yourself in the morning…sleep ‘til noon.’

Ann: That’s him! The only effort he makes is when he works to avoid any kind of physical activity at all.

Pam: I guess that’s why his mother was mowing the yard while he slept.


Ann: Barb knows he’s lazy. She once told me that the only way Jed would ever get any exercise is if she duct taped the remote to his feet.

Pam: Well it’s good she has a sense of humor about it. I don’t think I’d be so understanding.

Ann: Ed, Jed’s dad, has convinced himself that Jed is actually suffering from a medical condition. Jed told his dad that the doctor told him he was suffering from chronic lethargy with elements of lassitude. Ed was more than happy to latch onto any diagnosis that would mean his son was not just an old fashioned good-for-nothing.

Pam: There’s a Bern Williams quote that goes, “I like the word ‘indolence’. It makes laziness seem classy”. Maybe you should suggest to Ed that Jed’s not lazy he’s indolent.

Ann: A while back I heard about a lady in France, who worked for the electric company, who got into trouble with her employer for writing a book on how to do as little work as possible for your employer. It was meant as a tongue in cheek spoof on all those management books. But apparently she hit a nerve ‘cause it got her disciplined.

Pam: Hey, working for the electric company and writing a book at the same time is hard work. Clearly she wasn’t lazy. Maybe you should try to get Jed to marry a lady like that and then he’d move out of his parent’s house.

Ann: I would, except that I’d never find anyone willing to marry him because Jed thinks a two income family means the wife has two jobs!