Obvious Or Oblivious

Ann: Yesterday, I spent my usual Sunday afternoon strolling through the bookstore. I ran across a book that I know was intended to be helpful in teaching us worker bees how to get a grip on our financial lives.

Pam: Did you buy it?

Ann: No. I read the begininning of the first chapter which listed three secrets to increasing wealth. The first one was… I’m not making this up… ‘Earn more than you spend’. To be honest I can’t even remember the other two because I was laughing so hard. I figured spending money on the book went against the book’s own advice so I left it for someone who needed to buy some common sense.

Pam: Common sense isn’t so common anymore. A couple of hours ago I put new shoe laces in my sneakers before Bret and I went walking. I kid you not, there were written instructions on the back of the shoe lace package with directions on how to tie your shoes. Not how to lace them, how to tie them!

Ann: I guess the shoelace people haven’t figured out that anyone who’s mastered reading and following directions probably has blown right past the complex art of shoe tying.

Pam: I don’t know. Now that I think about it, a lot of my professors wore loafers.

Ann: Some folks just don’t get it. But I’m more annoyed by people who have a keen sense of the obvious and feel compelled to educate the rest of us. I was having a difficult time getting through to tech support at work the other day. I’d dial and then there was just a click and silence. I wasn’t hearing it ring or getting a busy signal or anything. When my boss asked why I hadn’t spoken to them, I explained the problem and she said, “Well, you have to dial the right numbers in the right order.”

Pam: Really!? I thought as long as you used all the numbers, the order didn’t really matter! What was she thinking? But bosses are like that. Archie will stand behind me and tell me my own address as I fill in the blanks of an online order form!

Ann: You’ve said he can really micromanage but that’s over the top. Maybe it’s his subtle way of reminding you ‘he knows where you live’. Insert evil laugh here.

Pam: Sometimes he says things that make me wonder why he pays me so much if he thinks I’m such an idiot. I told him I was thinking of flying Ross back to school this year instead of driving for two days in the van. Archie tells me, “Well, you’re going to have to ship his desk and bed and everything. You can’t just take that stuff with you on the airplane you know.”

Ann: What’d you say to that?

Pam: I told him I was glad he was in the office that day because when he wasn’t there I just stumbled around in the dark bumping into walls.

Ann: Well, he’s the master of the obvious. But if there was an award for the oblivious, I know who I’d give it to. I was watching the news and they showed a story of a woman’s boyfriend who killed his love rival, the woman’s other boyfriend. The TV reporter on the scene actually asked the woman, “So will the events of tonight affect your decision on which man you end up choosing?”